How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
