So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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