yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
