is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
