Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
