My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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