quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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