Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
