i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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