i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
