Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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