I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
