I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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