doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
