Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
