Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
