THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize