My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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