And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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