she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
