So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
