you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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