A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
