Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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