do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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