I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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