left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
