If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
