Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
