yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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