you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
