is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
