if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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