Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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