he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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