I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
