We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
