She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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