I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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