i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Randomize