nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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