Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
