I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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