we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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