Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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