hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize