Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it hurts more in the daytime
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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