It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
