This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize