I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
