WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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