I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
