Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
