awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
