you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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