oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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