i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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