Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
