How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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