Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
