HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
